Being Present means being fully conscious of the moment and free from the noise of internal dialogue. Sounds easy, right? I do not own a magical DeLorean and, as far as I know, I am not a time traveler. Or am I? Being present has been something I struggled with as an adult. As I explained to Oprah, “the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve have” is my Achilles’ heel. My mind laments over things I wish I would have done, gets anxious about everything I need or want to do in the future, and lose focus on things currently going on around me. Using the Insight Timer meditation app and YouTube have elevated my wellness practice with guided programs yet stilling the storms of my mind eludes. Someone once described their brain during meditation as a monkey rattling a cage. This I absolutely relate to.
Meditation and mindfulness have been mainstream for some time now and thanks in part to Queen O! Yes, that O! I love Oprah! She is a soul teacher, fairy godmother, unicorn… The list of white hats she dons are countless. Over the years she has extolled the benefits of journaling which is why every few years I attempt to incorporate it into my daily routine. Months prior to the pandemic my friend Jen and I purchased a journal from every shop in Paris with the promise to memorialize all plans, dreams, and daily life. Jen was true to her word while like all those trendy “As Seen On TV” products my journals found their way to the graveyard of a desk drawer: blank pages insinuating there might be a life unfulfilled. Who cannot find time to journal during a pandemic?
My bestie Judith is a purposeful and masterful journaling enthusiast who I affectionately call Baby O. Devoted wife, mother, high power corporate executive, doting daughter, and recent PhD recipient. In the spirit of giving back she has held virtual bullet journaling training sessions, which I have attended, and she gifted me with a gorgeous journal for my birthday. She credits the bullet journaling technique for designing the life she wants. As a witness to how journaling helped her get the job she desired in 2021, this Fall I incorporate the practice of placing my thoughts and plans down on paper.
To keep myself excited about the practice I decided to make it into a full sensory experience. I liken it to creating a daily vision board. Here are the items in my toolkit.
- HP Sprocket enables me to print directly from my smartphone. The portable ZINK technology does not require costly cartridge refills or glue because of the sticky-back photo paper.
- Magazine and greeting card cut-outs are essential. Who knew an ad for a prescription eye medication would be so inspiring: “KEEP LIVING LIFE THROUGH YOUR EYES”! Reading has become more impactful because I am searching for words and phrases with a deeper meaning.
- Anointing the ribbon bookmark with healing oil. The smell takes me to a meditative space.
- I feel like a kid again using gold stars and fun stickers to awaken the pages.
- Candles, Gemstones, and crystals to energize the space around me.
- Virtual fireplace courtesy of Netflix: Since I am not currently residing in my dream home, during the winter months or a rainy day I use a virtual fireplace to create a cozy atmosphere.
Assignment:
- I take time to savor the simple pleasures of life. Yes. Tasty food, nice walks with the dog, good music, time in the sun (which is difficult in Chicago).
- Most days, I feel calm and in tune with my body. No. On the outside I am cool, calm, and collected, while on the inside I am anxious and unfocused.
- I often feel distracted from the present moment. Yes. My mind is everywhere. ***This is the response Oprah asked me to share.*** On imaginary slights that did not occur, the past, the future, TV shows.
- I live in the now. No. There are so many desires and plans that monopolize my time. Quieting my mind would be my great achievement.
- I am a good listener. Yes. I am a fixer and the need to listen is critical. This is one of the few areas where I feel like I am present.
- Most days, I feel like my authentic self. No. My happy-go-lucky, energetic authentic self is now masked by a jaded, tired, regretful woman.
- Spotify. I surrender All by CeCe Winans and The Essential Snatam Kaur. I heard Oprah is a Snatam Kaur fan and her soul sisters surprised with an impromptu performance at her home in hawaii.
Recognizing I need a village on this journey of self-discovery I actively participate in my Oprah Daily subscription: I the purchased Oprah’s first ever Planner, tune into the monthly Life You Want virtual classes, leave comments in the community. I am impressed by how quickly blessings are unfolding.
Just in the first quarter of the year I published my first book and accepted an offer for a dream opportunity. The most life affirming event thus far was participating in the April The Life You Want class with Oprah and Philosopher Mark Nebo. The subject, Being Present, could not have been timelier. Homework was assigned and part of my vulnerability practice I am sharing my responses with you.
Assignment:
1: Practicing Authenticity To be fully present, we must be truly authentic. To do this, we must identify the ways to best practice authenticity. What are the conditions, practices, experiences that allow you to be authentically yourself? What allows you to see & hear most clearly?
I am an introvert and periods of solitude help me decompress, reflect, and recharge. Though journaling has not consistently been a part of my toolkit I am incorporating this daily into my routine to help me gain a sense of grounding.
2: A Look at Your Heart Your heart has carried you your whole life. It has pumped for you, felt for you, protected you, expressed for you, held on, and let go for you, enlivened you, encouraged you, held grief for you, and enabled you to love. Look at your heart and describe it in three ways: as a piece of nature, as a home, and as an instrument or tool. ***This is the response Oprah asked me to share.***
(1) My heart is a natural dam: At times slowing the pace of life yet preventing dirt and debris (and sometimes nutrients and new life) to flow further downstream; other times bursting at the seams unable to keep up with the pace of change. (2) My heart is a fortress or castle: beautiful inside but guarded against potential invaders. (3) My heart is a garden hoe planting seeds of gratitude and prayers.
3: A Foundational Story Describe one story that feels foundational to your life. Tell this story as you would a myth. Discuss the lesson this myth carries and how it applies to your life now. What truth does your return you do?
There once was a little girl who was kind, smart, and loving. Her teachers, neighbors, and church family lauded their prayers and praises upon her because they believed she was a warm-hearted, well-mannered young lady. Her greatest love were books. Not only due to her hunger to learn, but she loved to escape. In libraries she relished the solitude and she silently envisioned herself as a character in books. Sometimes the heroine or any other leading lady who was most unlike herself. Bold, beautiful, desired, charming, cultured… Throughout the years she bit into the poison apples of self-doubt, self-pity, and regret. The fantasies of the characters from books and movies continued, while in her actual life she made decisions based on fear and shrunk within herself versus making more of her own dreams come true.
Now she is approaching middle age and mourning the life that could have been. Regretting not taking more risks, being vulnerable, addressing past traumas earlier. She received blessings due to her strong work ethic, loving fairy godmothers and the universe; yet she does not truly grasp the concept of happiness. Though the key is within site the evil monsters that she has created (keeping up appearances and fear of judgement) have her trapped in a dungeon of her own making. Smuggling in tools of meditation, self-help books, and the visit of friends keep her spirits up, but she has not cracked the code on how to vibrant at the same frequency of her deepest desires. THE END & THE BEGINNING
4: Daily Rituals What is a daily ritual that helps bring me stillness?
Listening to meditation music in the morning and as I drift off to sleep at night. The frequencies help my get in a state of relaxation.
5: Next Steps Who or what could I pay more attention to and why?
Need to pay attention to events and people that drain my energy or alter my mood because this can easily spiral into fatigue, moping, and steer me away from my plans.
The best part of this journey was meeting 11 like minded individuals on a similar journey. the energy was amazing and i know it is not the last we will see of each other.
This is a journey and there is no right or wrong path or method. The destination is not the goal if I am trying to live in the present. I have to make peace with the past and surrender control over the future.
Do you have a Journaling practice? What tips do you have for maintaining a routine?